We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
