If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
