We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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