i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
