guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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