So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
