Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a kid would responsible me up
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize