i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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