Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize