yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
