Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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