Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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