i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
