Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
