he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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