HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
