pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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