she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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