There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
No stitches, just platelets and will power
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
