I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Im part way to drunk.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
