Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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