How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
