just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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