I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
