I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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