why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
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I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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