So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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