yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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