The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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