Sponge bath it is.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
