The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
