I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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