I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
