Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Who died my cat blue again?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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