guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
