My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
