yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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