It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize