My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
