brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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