ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize
