What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
