So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize