i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
