This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize