I hate all girls vehemently.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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