Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
