i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
