I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
