Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
