I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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