I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
