You're so nebulous sometimes
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
