Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
