HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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