The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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