I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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