Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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