Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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